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literature
tomatoes
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Literature Text
the garden has grown over.
rows of metal stakes sit
barren, tilted
if you were here, I would ask -
do you remember each spring
those sagging, strained vines
grazing the ground
and all the varieties of reds
that brightened the back of our yard?
the sound of the doorbell, a cue
to load up the bags,
and the postman,
your sister,
my friends leaving, laden with a bounty
and Mum heaping two kilos of them
in a deep saucepan,
bashed and dented from years of cooking for four,
and they'd simmer for hours
like time meant nothing
our crop, we shared
when there was
so much
rows of metal stakes sit
barren, tilted
if you were here, I would ask -
do you remember each spring
those sagging, strained vines
grazing the ground
and all the varieties of reds
that brightened the back of our yard?
the sound of the doorbell, a cue
to load up the bags,
and the postman,
your sister,
my friends leaving, laden with a bounty
and Mum heaping two kilos of them
in a deep saucepan,
bashed and dented from years of cooking for four,
and they'd simmer for hours
like time meant nothing
our crop, we shared
when there was
so much
AI art: national wildlife animals
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Still a work in progress I think, but I've been playing with it for a couple of days and haven't gone far. I haven't written for over a year so I'm kind of excited to have written anything.
Not sure if the 2nd last stanza should be there at all. But without it (and even with it), I feel like it's missing something. Like it's half a story. Maybe it should be half a story.
Of course - harsh critiques welcomed and feedback in general would be lovely.
And thank you to the wonderful `salshep for her feedback at the start, and for pointing out the obvious changes that needed to be made.
Not sure if the 2nd last stanza should be there at all. But without it (and even with it), I feel like it's missing something. Like it's half a story. Maybe it should be half a story.
Of course - harsh critiques welcomed and feedback in general would be lovely.
And thank you to the wonderful `salshep for her feedback at the start, and for pointing out the obvious changes that needed to be made.
© 2010 - 2024 Sperpy
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